Love Is Tangible
by carcinogeneticist117
Summary: The one thing they had was their love, yet when emotions ride high and leave the two bearing emotional scars, this perfect relationship may meet its perfect end. Now without each other, how will they manage to find themselves? Are they able to save things before they're too late to save their relationship? Or could things get much much worse from here? Yaoi, AU
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello there world! This is me creating my very first Grimmichi story! Yay go me!**_

_**The story is based off of my recent break up with my boyfriend… only you will find Ichigo and Grimmjow's situation a little worse for wear.**_

_**The story gets really angsty so grab a box of tissues if you are the type that cries a lot.**_

_**I tried not to make the characters too OOC but one can only try since they are not mine.**_

_**I plan on updating on a regular basis but with my new job that might make it kinda hard.**_

_**Any ways! Sit back! Relax and enjoy the angst! :D**_

_**As usual I don't own any part of Bleach.**_

Chapter 1: The Beginning Is the End

"_There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master_

_I try to save you but I can't find the answer_

_I'm holding on to you, I'll never let go_

_I need you with me as I enter the shadows. . ."_

_-Shadows by Red_

Grimmjow was in pain.

With every item of his that he placed in his duffle bag, it felt like his heart was splintering under a great weight. Every glance that he shot towards the framed pictures of him and Ichigo smiling blissfully seemed to shatter his very soul. With every rehearsed line of goodbye that left his parched lips, he felt his mind slowly slip away into the black abyss of despair. It felt like at that moment of time Grimmjow was truly dying.

Things had started well for the bizarre couple; the moment they met was the true epitome of love at first sight. The flirtation began, numbers were swapped and in time so were hugs, hand holds and kisses. Months of dating brought them closer and closer together until they began sharing a townhouse on the southern end of California. The months went by slowly, the pair enjoyed and savored every moment of their relationship.

At that point destiny wanted to interfere.

One day after a surprisingly short visit to his job as a clothing store manager, Ichigo returned home angry, broken and jobless. Grimmjow had tried to pick the depressed tangerine head out of his slump of depression with job applications to places he could apply to, offering to spend time with him on treks to find hiring stores and even going as far as to offer him a position at his dojo. Yet the more Grimmjow tried to help, the more Ichigo had pulled away. Soon pouting fits in their bedroom turned to late night visits to the bar, early mornings filled with the cacophonous sound of Ichigo stumbling in wasted out of his mind and the eventual withdrawal of himself from the rest of his friends. The entire time Grimmjow stood by helpless, watching the man that he loved slip deeper and deeper into the quicksand of depression. Grimmjow had tried to make Ichigo see the wrong he was doing, but each time it ended in the same dismissal.

"Leave me alone Grimmjow, you have no clue how I feel. You still have a job, your happy. I don't want to be lectured by someone who can't even empathize with my pain."

How was Ichigo to know he was happy? Didn't he see how much it was tearing Grimmjow apart in the inside to see his love hurt?

It was the realization of how selfish Ichigo was being that led Grimmjow to the decision he was acting upon now.

A quick survey of his bedroom showed the loneliness that Grimmjow was feeling. Dresser drawers were pushed out and emptied of most of their contents. The closet looked so desolate with Grimmjow's half ripped out of its protective grasp. The only presentable thing left was the bed, sheets made and a note rested on Ichigo's pillow. The note contained the reason why Grimmjow was leaving, he was convinced that the orange haired man would come home drunk again and wouldn't remember his farewell speech. Grimmjow hefted the bag on his shoulder again and saw as his keys slipped out of the pocket of his jacket. He bent down to retrieve the keys and saw the key to his apartment hanging almost desperately to the rest of his keys. With a shuddering sigh, Grimmjow gripped the key and separated it from the rest and set it along with his note on Ichigo's pillow.

A loud chirping filled the room as Grimmjow's phone demanded his attention. Grimmjow flipped open the screen and raised the device to his ear.

"Yo." He greeted gruffly

"Oi man! I'm out front! You ready to high tail it outta here?" A voice demanded from the other end

"Yeah Nnoi, I got everything packed. I just gotta grab Pantera, can't carry this huge duffel and ride her ya know?" He responded while moving towards the door.

"Yeah yeah ok, just give me the bag so I can get the heck outta here, ya know how much I wanna avoid emotional confrontations man." Nnoitora hissed

Grimmjow opened the door and saw Nnoitora's bright orange 2010 Zenvo ST1 growling at the curb.

How the man was able to sucker his billionaire dad into buying him a $1,225,000 car was beyond him.

As Grimmjow threw his bag into the plush back seat he heard the sharp intake of breath from his best friend.

"Yo! Be careful with Santa Teresa!" He growled

"Just shut up and drive, I will meet you at your place in about an hour." Grimmjow huffed

At once Nnoitora's expression turned serious.

"You sure you don't need anything else?"

Grimmjow couldn't help but grin, his friend didn't want to show it in a normal way but he was worried about Grimmjow.

"Nah man, you're already letting me crash at your place, anymore debt and I will have to give you my first born." He joked

Almost immediately the serious gaze turned into another smirk.

"Who the hell ya trying to fool Grimm? Everyone knows your gay hence your never gonna have any children. Besides what the hell am I gonna do with a kid? All they do is eat cha outta house and home!" He scoffed while picking a stray piece of lint off of his letterman jacket.

Grimmjow laughed and patted the top of the car, signaling that's when Nnoitora should leave. Without a second glance Nnoitora peeled out of the driveway and raced towards his two bedroom apartment.

With a bone weary sigh, Grimmjow sauntered up to the garage and flung open the door to reveal his blue Yamaha YZF-R1, though it wasn't a million dollar car like Nnoitora's, the $13,990 had definitely put a dent in Grimmjow's pay checks. Grimmjow had just pulled the lithe bike from the garage and grabbed his full face black helmet when he heard the distinct rumble of Ichigo's friend Renji's silver 2008 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR as it pulled up to the curb.

'Show time'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ichigo never felt as good as he felt tonight.

After taking shot after shot at the local club Seretei, Ichigo found his depression slacken and his mood improve. Almost immediately his thoughts drifted to Grimmjow and he felt his earlier frustrations bubble up to the surface, effectively killing his buzz. The bluenette had been pressuring him to get a job for a while now, saying something with the effect that what he was doing was unhealthy and was hurting Grimmjow.

How the hell was he hurt by all of this?!

Ichigo was the one who was mercilessly fired from his job as a manager for no other reason other than they needed to cut off a few people with the economy being in the sorry state that it was in. Ichigo was the one who couldn't provide for himself let alone the man whom he loved. Ichigo was the one who needed to drown his sorrows in shot after shot of hard alcohol. Though his old friends had pulled away, Ichigo had found companionship in Renji and Rukia, two local bar bums that Ichigo liked to drink with. He had all that he needed at the moment; if life felt this good when he was wasted then why would he ever want to be sober? Why did he even need a job? He still had his apartment, he still had his man and he still had friends.

Ichigo didn't have to change at all.

After the club had grown quiet and the people started to take off, Renji had offered to take Ichigo home in his Mustang. Though they were both drunk out of their minds, Ichigo saw no problem with Renji driving. As they pulled onto Ichigo's street Ichigo saw Grimmjow's friend Nnoitora's car race through the street in a hurry.

That was the first sign that something was wrong.

As Renji pulled to the curb and wished Ichigo goodnight, Ichigo sat frozen in the seat; staring with trepidation at his shared apartment. Ichigo quickly raced out of the car and barely gave Renji's car a cursory glance as it barreled away. Staggering towards the garage, Ichigo saw Grimmjow standing rigidly by his bike. He was dressed in black Alpinestar boots, Dark blue jeans that hung low on his hips and accented the toned muscles of his thighs. His torso was covered in a black leather jacket that was unzipped at the base of his throat to show his grey shirt. His wild blue hair stuck up precariously on his head and his stormy cobalt eyes seemed to pierce through Ichigo and bury themselves into his very soul.

His demeanor was enough to tip Ichigo off that he was angry.

Ichigo swayed towards his boyfriend, hoping to find some sort of solace in his boyfriend's arms. He reached out for Grimmjow's arm and watched horrified as his boyfriend jerked away from his touch.

"Grimm? What's the matter? What's going on? Why are you angry? I-" he rambled

Grimmjow raised his hand to stop me from speaking and scowled at Ichigo.

"Just shut up and let me say somethin." He growled

Ichigo felt the haze of the drinks fade out of his system with the rush of fear that Grimmjow's statement made him feel. Ichigo's mouth went dry and he found himself paralyzed and staring at Grimmjow as if he had his life in the palm of his hands. Grimmjow gave a shaky breath and plowed his hand into his blue locks.

"Ichi, this isn't working out." He mumbled gruffly

It felt like the Earth dropped beneath Ichigo.

"W-what do you mean?" he whimpered

Grimmjow bit his bottom lip and growled at nothing as he fixated his cold stare at the ground by his feet.

"Don't make this harder than it has gotta be Ichigo. Just accept the fact that we aren't together and let's move on with our lives." He grunted

The world pitched and Ichigo felt himself fall to the floor, clutching desperately at his stomach as tears streaked tracks down his tan cheeks. How was this happening? How was the only man he had ever cared about leaving him so abruptly? What did he do wrong?

"Why?" Ichigo choked out between sobs

Ichigo glanced up and saw pain etched in those sky blue irises, but also the look of steely determination.

"You can't help yourself. All you do is get drunk with strangers and stay out till all hours of the night. I'm done trying to piece you back together Ichigo. I'm not your father, and I will never be. I want someone with ambition and drive. Buy the way you have been going I don't see any of that in you." He said coldly

Ichigo felt the surge of realization and hope shoot through him and propel him towards Grimmjow, gripping the sleeve of his leather jacket desperately.

"All I gotta do is change right?! I can do that! I will do that right now!" Ichigo said heatedly

Grimmjow softly detached himself from Ichigo's fevered grip and slipped his full face helmet over his head, masking his emotions as he said his next words.

"I'm done with you Ichigo. I'm through latching myself onto someone I can't love anymore. Just try to piece back your pride and stop groveling at me would ya?" He barked

Ichigo recoiled as if he was slapped.

Grimmjow didn't love him anymore?

He heard the sound of tires rolling and the roar of Grimmjow's bike Pantera as it started up.

"Goodbye Ichigo. . .Take care yeah?" He heard Grimmjow mutter

Tires squealed and Ichigo was left alone in a broken home. He was numb. What had happened? He felt his body fall to the ground in a heap and sobs rack his body.

What was he suppose to do now?

~End of Chapter 1~

_**Reviews are better than having your hunk of a boyfriend break up with you because of your lazy tendencies :D**_

_**Man that took a while! I never thought that this story would make me type this much! This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written.**_

_**Probably means that I will stick with this story for a while**_

_**Hopefully.**_

_**Feel free to review and give suggestions. I will read them but in the end it is my decision and I will write what I please.**_

_**See you guys in Chapter 2!**_


	2. Chapter 2: Stay Strong

_**Hello again my helpful readers! Welcome to chapter two of Love Is Tangible!**_

_**So far I am satisfied in the direction that the story is going in, hopefully that sensation doesn't go away…..**_

_**I am seriously hoping that every other chapter isn't a Red song, but so far like 6 of the 9 song excerpts I have are from the band Red…..**_

_**Hey what can I say? The band is good at angst songs.**_

_**Unlike the Skrillex I'm listening to right now… Why am I listening to dub step anyway?**_

_**Oh yeah research for why a lot of people seem to lose brain cells. . . . .**_

_**Anyways I'm done rambling! So here is Chapter 2!**_

_**As usual I don't own Bleach**_

Chapter 2: Stay Strong?

"_You always said we'd meet again_

_You always said you'd be here_

_Where are you now. . ."_

_Mystery of You by Red_

What had happened?

Slowly the filter of outside light seemed to penetrate the blank abyss of Ichigo's mind. The once blissful and empty state of mind was being corrupted by the insistent pounding in his skull. The only downside of drinking yourself into a stupor is the after effects of the massive hangover ready to happen. For a brief moment, life had been blissfully peaceful in his state of intoxicated ignorance. The hangover now bashing against the inner lining of his frontal lobe only reminded Ichigo of the fact that no matter how much he drank, life would always be there to kick him back down again. Slowly Ichigo opened his eyes and was greeted with the sight of the interior of his garage rather than the ceiling of his bedroom. Ichigo felt his eyebrows scrunch up in confusion and his body slowly lift itself from the ground. Usually he was really good about collapsing into his bed no matter how wasted he got. Besides if he didn't usually make it into bed Grimmjow was there to help him.

Wait, where was Grimmjow?

Ichigo felt a lance of pure panic shock his system before he scrambled to his feet. Usually his blue haired boyfriend woke him up before he left to his work, if he wasn't here that meant something was terribly wrong. As Ichigo raced through his and Grimmjow's apartment, his mind raced over what it was that he could have done to cause Grimmjow to leave unannounced. Did he say something while he was drunk that caused Grimmjow to leave? Did Grimmjow not make it home that night? Is he out there somewhere hoping that Ichigo would find him? The more and more Ichigo thought about what may have happened to his lover, the more desperate his search became until he crashed into his bedroom screaming Grimmjow's name to the empty house.

What he saw in the bedroom made Ichigo's heart stop in his chest.

The once clean room was tossed like a fresh salad, the contents of the room lay strewn about in disarray. The closet looked like it was ransacked and stripped of its contents by angry hands. The dresser drawers were hanging onto the railing by a thread, their contents either taken or tossed around in a flurry of chaos. The only presentable thing in the room was Grimmjow and Ichigo's bed. The sheets and blanket were spread in an immaculate fashion that only Grimmjow would have been able to pull off. Before He could bring himself to reach into his pocket for his phone and contact the police, Ichigo noticed a both a key and a letter etched with Grimmjow's scrawl. Slowly, as if his limbs were made of lead, he moved towards the note and reached a shaking hand toward the key and note.

Ichigo knew without a doubt that the key he held in his hand was Grimmjow's and with that given knowledge the letter seemed to radiate a sense of foreboding.

"No, oh no. Don't let this be happening right now, please."Ichigo heard himself whisper through clenched teeth.

Despite his keen feelings of fear and repulsion, Ichigo watched as his hands opened the letter of their own accord and exposed the interior of the note and more of Grimmjow's writing. Dreading what he would find in the letter, Ichigo took a deep breath and locked his eyes onto the note, expecting the worst.

_Ichigo,_

_By the time you have read this I will have been long gone. I need to explain to you what I know for a fact you did not understand last night. We are over Ichi, I'm done trying to revive a dead relationship all because of your laziness and careless-_

Abruptly Ichigo tore his watering eyes from the paper and screamed in frustration and loss. He knew it, this explained everything, Grimmjow's distance, and his sad glances when he stared at him and most of all the dread he had started to feel for a while. Though he didn't want to finish the letter, Ichigo found his eyes being drawn back to the letter and his pride flare up as he re-read the last line where Grimmjow had called him lazy.

_. . . I know that I should be a lot angrier at how you have been treating me since you lost your job, but I can't. I love you, but I love you enough to know that I have to let you go. I need someone who is ambitious. I thought that would be you, but it turns out I was wrong. I'm sorry Ichi, but I'm done. Take care._

_-Grimm_

At those final words, Ichigo felt the haze that surrounded last night lift and he suddenly remembered everything. Renji driving him home, him seeing Nnoitora leave in a hurry, Grimmjow's harsh words and his eventual abandoning Ichigo on the floor of their garage.

'Or rather my garage' Ichigo thought as he looked down at Grimmjow's abandoned key.

Slowly Ichigo felt his rage building until he couldn't keep it locked inside anymore. Launching him at the emptied dresser, Ichigo pushed it over until it crashed against the floor and shook the upper story; he sent a flying punch towards the television and created a gaping hole in the flat screen that sparked dangerously at the intrusion of flesh. Screaming out his ex-boyfriends name, Ichigo took the lamp at his bed side and sent it hurtling towards the door frame where it promptly shattered into thousands of pieces. Feeling his rage start to cool Ichigo plunged his fist into the dry wall next to him and heard a satisfying crunch as pain shot up his arm like daggers. He welcomed pain, he welcomed the feeling of agony that swept through him when he splintered the bone in his hand and lost motor function in that appendage. Any distraction was welcome instead of the emotional hurt he felt now. Yet the more he tried to focus on the physical pain, the more he realized that it was Grimmjow who made this happen to him.

'_I'm done with you Ichigo'_

Grimmjow's voice seemed to ghost from the walls, serving only to ignite the fire in Ichigo's cheeks as tears sprung from their wells.

'_I'm through latching myself onto someone I can't love anymore'_

"S-Stop." Ichigo's voice trembled

'_Just try to piece back your pride'_

"Stop it! Stop! Please just stop!" Ichigo begged, tears falling freely down his cheeks as he clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears

'_Stop groveling at me would ya'_

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ichigo screamed to the empty house

The silence that followed was deafening, pointing out the loneliness in Ichigo's heart. Ichigo felt his knees buckle beneath him and his body curled into a ball on the floor.

He had lost everything, every single God damn thing. Though he had nothing left, he knew he could get up eventually. For now Ichigo curled up on the ground and clutched at his broken heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grimmjow glared down at the number in his phone, finger hanging over the call button. He knew he shouldn't call since their break up a few weeks ago but the bluenette missed his Berry more than he cared to mention. It had been hell trying to detach himself from the boy he had loved unconditionally but it was for the best right? Grimmjow silently sneered at the phone in his hand, unsure of what to do.

"Jeagerjaques-Taichou? The class is ready to start class. . ." A frightened voice whispered from the door to his study.

With a snap, Grimmjow closed his phone and hurled it into the drawer of his desk.

"Hai, hai. I'm on my way." He huffed gruffly

He couldn't afford to be weak; Ichigo was just a thing of his past now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"C'mon Ichigo! Loosen up! Here let me buy ya another drink!" Renji slurred obnoxiously

"Not now Renji, I'm not in the mood. Besides I'm trying to quit that stuff remember?" Ichigo sighed

The insistent pounding in Ichigo's head was only intensified by the strobe lights and loud music of Seretei. All he wanted to do was call it a night and finish his term paper before hitting the pillow, but Renji would have none of that.

"C'mon Ichigo! You've been acting strange ever since your break up with Grimmjack. It's been a month now! It's time to let the dude go." He hiccupped

"First off it's Grimmjow, and I'm not acting strange, this just isn't my scene anymore. Listen I gotta go. Talk to ya later Ren." Ichigo huffed and took off in search of the exit

"You'll be back! You can't stay away for too long! You will be crawlin back fer more before ya even realize it!" Renji called after him.

Renji was such a fool; there was no way Ichigo wanted anymore of that life. No he decided he was going to move on with or without anyone by his side, he knew he could.

Grimmjow had taught him that much.

**~End Chapter 2~**

**Reviews are better that trying to follow the straight and narrow :D**

**Well I have gotten some heat by a reader who says Ichigo and Grimmy were a little too girly last chappy.**

**So?**

**I intend for them to mature over the course of this story, in order for that to happen they need to be immature first.**

**Don't worry guys; this is not my first fan fiction.**

**Sit back and relax neh?**

**Oh and I am starting a new story called **_**Skyra**_** which will also be a Grimmichi story but I'm still gonna test the waters on that one before I test it on the public.**

**So guys tell me, what did ya think?**

**See ya'll in Chapter 3**


	3. Chapter 3: Where Are You Now

_**Well hey, this is sorta crazy. I just finished my last chapter a couple of hours ago but hey! I'm back for more!**_

_**I have to thank my Axel-Chan for giving me the strength to write another chapter, I always get amped off of Strawberry Pocky x3**_

_**Well we have some new readers joining the pack; I can feel the heat coming off of the story in waves from the various eyes reading it.**_

_**Amps up the pressure just a notch neh?**_

_**Well here we go! Time skip! Hold on my readers cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride!**_

_**As usual I don't own Bleach. If I did Grimmjow wouldn't die, he would become a soul reaper, marry Ichigo and Whisk him away to live in Las Notches as King and Queen forever….**_

_**Once again this is why I don't own Bleach**_

**Chapter 3: Where Are You Now?**

"_I'll vomit illusions_

_Trick myself that I'm happy_

_But so much comes out of my mouth_

_It's burning me empty. . ."_

_Family Disease by Oceana_

**~10 Years Later~**

"And that's how I lost my first pet Jillian in a house fire." The distressed woman sobbed into her hands

Ichigo felt a sigh escape his tense form, after going half an hour over their end time the woman had finally gotten to the root of the problem as to why she was so angry that her husband was cheating on her. Though it had been a somewhat interesting session as the time progressed, Ichigo had to admit that the ending had seemed rather anti-climatic. Ichigo gazed at the black haired woman as she shook uncontrollably, her husband sitting half awake half asleep next to her. Who could blame the man? It was already ten at night and knowing where his clients lived the man could have been home asleep by now if his wife hadn't insisted on spilling her entire life story throughout the entire session. Sensing that now was as good a time as ever to disengage himself from the black haired woman and her insistent excuses that her childhood had directly impacted her marital troubles, Ichigo plastered the sickly smile that he had learned to keep on for the job and gave his clients the most apologetic look he could muster at this time of night.

"I'm sorry Retsu, Shunsui, but it seems that our time is up. I would love to talk to you more about this issue next time if that's alright with you." Said Ichigo in the sweetest tone he could muster.

Retsu quickly looked up and muttered apology after apology while simultaneously trying to gather her things in a rush to leave.

"Oh I'm so sorry Kurosaki-Chan! I didn't see the time! Oh I got so carried away that I completely forgot that you had asked if we could schedule a shorter session this time! Oh I do hope you will forgive me!" She shrieked

"Oh that's quite alright Retsu, no need to get flustered. I'm just hoping that you are feeling O-"

Ichigo was interrupted mid sentence by a loud growling snarl that shook him to the bone. Ichigo looked towards the sound of the insistent growl to find in erupting from the newly asleep Shunsui who lay precariously close to the couch's edge. A huff was the only warning that Ichigo received before Retsu grabbed her husband off of the couch by his hair and started to pull him out the door while the man was howling in pain. Ichigo could only splutter as the seemingly calm and fragile woman hauled her husband out the door in an almost animalistic fashion.

"So will next week work Kurosaki-Chan?" Retsu asked with a sickly sweet tone, her husband clawing frantically at her hand that seemed to be severing the auburn strands of hair from his head.

"Uh. . . .Y-yes. I do believe that's what we agreed on. . ." Ichigo spluttered

"Have a good night doctor." Retsu smiled coldly, dragging the now crying man out of his office and into the night.

Ichigo felt himself release a shaky breath that he didn't know he was holding and his hand shove itself into his now shoulder length orange strands reminding him once again that he needed to get a trim. Retsu was always an interesting one when she was upset, the woman packed one hell of a punch when she was angry. Her last therapist had warned Ichigo of the perils of Retsu's temper, it was only a week now that he was now experiencing it firsthand. In a way Ichigo was happy that she was showing him this part of her, it meant she was finally able to be herself in front of him without worrying about appearances. Ichigo sighed and stared at the neat room that served as his office. The place was very small, maybe twenty feet in either direction with most of it being occupied by a black suede couch, mahogany desk and various books on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that littered his various bookshelves. This had become like a second home to him now, being the place where he pursued the passion of his life, helping other people. Though it was mostly focused on couples and marriages, he still felt like he was helping preserve something that was sacred.

'Too bad you couldn't do that with you and Grimm' a voice in the back of his head whispered

Ichigo shook his head in the vain attempt to rid the blue haired man from his thoughts. It had been ten years and yet the pain seemed to never go away. He knew that what he was expecting from the love of his life would be filed under the impossible category. He knew Grimmjow would never take him back after what he had done to the man. He knew the man would never hold him, kiss him and be there for him like he once did. He knew Grimmjow couldn't love him anymore.

Yet why was there hope still burning?

Ichigo was shaken out of his reverie when his phone beeped loudly, insistent in drawing his attention. Ichigo raised the open device to his ear and muttered a tentative hello, afraid that the voice on the other end was the man he was thinking about.

"Yo Ichigo? Where the hell have you been man? You said you were gonna meet me here like half an hour ago! Where are you?" Renji's voice snarled from the other end.

Ichigo felt a disappointed sigh rack through his body at the absence of the gruff baritone of his former lover. What was he thinking? The man hadn't even spared him a courtesy call in ten years. Why would he suddenly feel the need to change?

Man this whole hope thing really sucked sometimes, why wouldn't it keel off already?

"Sorry Renji, my last client of the night ended up staying a bit longer than anticipated. We still on for tonight?" He asked hesitantly, praying to whatever God could hear him that he would cancel their previous engagement. Ichigo had told Renji over and over again that he was through with drinking, yet no matter how many times he told the man it never registered through his thick skull. It always ended with the same argument, how his ex caused him to turn into a square, how Ichigo needed some sort of love interest to brighten his life and how one of these days Renji was going to provide him one.

The first time he said that he had to beg Ichigo to stop punching him as he tried to convince him that he wasn't putting the moves on him.

The voice on the other end of the line seemed to huff out an annoyed breath which made Ichigo's heart soar.

"Yeah, ok you can have a break tonight."

Ichigo felt like jumping for joy at that very moment, whatever God had heard him that time was going to receive Ichigo's undying devotion. Just as he was about to thank Renji, the words died on his lips at his next statement.

"You owe me. And as punishment for not going tonight you're going to Hueco Mundo tomorrow." Renji giggled

Oh no, this was so not happening.

Hueco Mundo was by far the weirdest speed dating place in all of Japan. A place where you sat behind massive screens that separated one side from another while your only form of communication was a laptop that connected you to a chat room where only the members could see it. Renji had been pushing Ichigo to go to the place for a while now, murmuring something about how they can accurately find your match in a room full of people, even your soul mate in some instances.

There was no way Ichigo was going to that wacked out place.

"I can sense your refusal from the other end of the line Ichigo, aren't you the one who always says they are loyal to the debts they must repay?" Renji cackled.

Damn himself and his sturdy morals.

Ichigo felt his hand once again plow through the soft orange hair on his head and his mouth fix itself with a silent sneer.

"Fine, but I'm not gonna find someone there Renji! You know that!" He snarled into the phone.

The laughter on the other end of the phone sent shivers rushing up Ichigo's spine.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that just yet Kurosaki. We will just have to wait and see wont we? Until then try ta get some sleep. You'll need to look yer best tomorrow." Renji sang and promptly hung up the phone before Ichigo could respond.

Ichigo stared dumbly at the phone before he felt another bone weary sigh rack through his frame. What had he gotten himself into?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had gone too far this time.

Grimmjow stood in the frame of his doorway, his body rocking as pent up growls shook through his system.

What had Nnoitora done to his room?

His once clean room was now piled with flyer after flyer to that damn place called Hueco Mundo, the papers covering every inch of his room and spiraling high into the ceiling like paper towers in a distant land.

He was going to shred that toothpick into bite sized strips the next time he saw him.

A man's room was his sanctum. It was the place where Grimmjow went to escape the rest of the world. It was the place he felt at ease and retained the slightest bit of normalcy.

It was the place he went to escape the constant reminders of his orange haired ex.

Grimmjow felt the familiar heart ache as he thought of how he had abandoned his Berry on the floor of their garage. His hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he choked on the vision in his mind. When would these ghosts finally leave him alone?

Grimmjow was yanked from his self loathing as a booted foot met swiftly with his backside, sending him sprawling on the ground with the tower of papers cascading over him like a ruthless waterfall of trees. Grimmjow clawed his way to the surface and locked his icy gaze onto the now snickering Nnoitora, his foot still poised in the air as if the appendage was still celebrating the win. One look at Grimmjow's expression sent Nnoitora into hysterics.

"Shut the hell up Nnoi before I shove my boot in your overly wide mouth!" Grimmjow snarled

"S-sorry man! You should have seen your face! So worth the countless trees I killed by printing all these flyers. Classic." Nnoitora laughed, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Grimmjow tugged himself from the collapsed pillar of paper and set another glare in Nnoitora's direction.

"Whoa now Grimmy, if looks could kill my boyfriend would have keeled over about ten minutes ago with the way you've been staring at him." A high pitch voice said from the door frame.

At the doorway stood Nelliel, Nnoitora's 9 out of 10 Sea foam green haired girlfriend. She was wearing a fitted T-shirt that read: "This Is My Zombie Killing Shirt", dark blue boot cut jeans and black 7 inch heels.

Who the hell was she to judge him on looks that could kill?

She slowly sashayed towards the now frozen Nnoitora and drew him into a slow soul-searing kiss that seemed to burn Grimmjow from 5 feet away.

"Hey, hey none of that! Get out of here if your gonna do that kind of stuff!" Grimmjow hissed

Nnoitora broke the kiss and sent a knowing smirk towards Grimmjow and looked pointedly towards the flyers scattered about his room.

"Now you wouldn't be feeling that way if you would just listen to the subtle hints I have been sending ya about Hueco Mundo now would ya?" He cackled like a hyena

Grimmjow looked away in disgust and scoffed at Nnoitora's statement.

"If this is how you give subtle hints I would hate to see your none too subtle hints." Grimmjow muttered

"Wanna find out Grimm? Don't show up to the meeting tomorrow and see how much more obnoxious I can be." Nnoitora grinned maniacally

Grimmjow paled slightly before he let out a huff in irritation and sauntered towards the kitchen to prepare dinner.

"Fine, fine. But I aint gonna find someone, ya know that Nnoi?" He barked towards his smug friend

"Sure Grimm, we will just hafta see about that no wont we?" He laughed

As Grimmjow left the room Nelliel turned towards her boyfriend with a puzzled look on her face.

"Just out of curiosity, what were you going to do if the paper avalanche didn't work?"

Nnoitora sent out a bark of laughter and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"That was actually my last ditch plan. Don't tell Grimm that 'kay?" He grinned

Nelliel slapped him playfully on the arm and giggled.

"Who knew my man was such the trickster?" She giggled

"Hey, the kid wasn't doing it on his own. If he wasn't gonna do it then I would hafta make him. It will all work out in the end." Nnoitora fixed his gaze on the back of his friends blue locks, "I'm tired of seeing my friend hurting so much." He said, the serious tone erasing all of the playfulness from earlier.

Nelliel wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck and pecked his cheek.

"We all are babe."

**~End Chapter 3~**

**Reviews are better than the eventual surprise confrontation from your ex :D**

_**I have to say, I really enjoyed writing that chapter, and I really love giving Nnoitora lines x3**_

_**Well I wanted to give y'all some suspense for the next chapter; something has to keep you guys on the edge of your seat right?**_

_**The song at the beginning has been stuck in my head all day, I must buy it on ITunes now -_-"**_

_**Now is where I draw from a different part of my mind, the one where I deal with the mental aspect of relationships.**_

_***Sigh***_

_**Pass?**_

…_**.**_

_**Guess not**_

_**So tell me guys, what did y'all think?**_

_**See you guys in Chapter 4!**_


	4. Chapter 4: Breaking Down

_**So here we are, at Chapter 4. This will probably be the most difficult chapter for me to write.**_

_**Especially since I'm working on an empty stomach -_-"**_

_**So more and more people have joined the reading list! Welcome all new comers! Your now one of the pack :3**_

_**I have to try to focus on displaying the hurt in this chapter, it's something that I would rather avoid but hey, if your gonna write an angst story you need to actually write some angst ya know?**_

_**Well that was my allotted time slot for rambling, now without further ado, here is chapter 4**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to Vy, my wonderful reader who opened my eyes to some of the major flaws in Love Is Tangible. Thanks for opening my eyes Vy! Hope this chapter makes up for past mistakes ^^**_

_**As usual Bleach doesn't belong to me**_

**Chapter 4: Breaking Down**

"_I know you, who are you now?_

_Look into my eyes if you can't remember_

_Do you remember? Oh_

_I can say, I can still find_

_You're the only voice my heart can recognize_

_But I can hear you now, yeah_

_I'll never be the same_

_I'm caught inside the memories_

_The promises, our yesterdays_

_And I belong to you. . ."_

_Never Be the Same by Red_

He couldn't believe he was actually going through with this.

Ichigo stood staring at his figure in the mirror, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse to not only escape his appointment to Hueco Mundo but also to break his moral code of paying debts back. After brainstorming for over half an hour of ways he might escape this situation, Ichigo still found himself in the same predicament as he was earlier, only the time had grown shorter. To add insult to injury, Ichigo was being dressed by the most evil and diabolical person he met when it came to selecting wardrobes.

"Ichigo if you don't put on the shirt I handed you I will shove it down your throat and string it around your rib cage like a party streamer." a womanly voice growled.

Ichigo shuddered and began to change into the black button up shirt that lay neglected on his bed side; Rukia Kuchiki was by far the most evil woman when it came to wardrobe changes. Somehow Renji thought it would be a good idea for Rukia to dress Ichigo while he brought the car around, saying something to the effect of "I'm no good with wardrobe advice, little Rukia there can help you out though".

The man had willingly thrown him to the sharks.

Once Ichigo had the shirt buttoned up to the hollow of his throat he turned only to be elbowed in the face by the petite pixy.

"Ow! What the hell Rukia?!" He growled at the fuming girl

"Did I tell you to button it all the way up?! No! Wear it open over the grey tank top I gave you! Imbecile! Do you want your special someone to look at you when you look like your wearing rags?! Honestly! It was bad enough that Renji had given me all but ten minutes warning that you would need a new change of clothes! If I would have known that earlier we would have gone shopping!" Rukia yelled at no one in particular

Ichigo tried to visualize Rukia taking him into a clothing store to try on clothes and he visibly shook. There was no way in all of hell he would go through that. His nightmares were interrupted when Rukia threw a pair of black denim pants at him along with a leather belt and his white G-shock watch.

"Put on your black converse and some sandalwood cologne and let's get outta here." Rukia huffed and stormed out of the room like a hurricane.

As soon as the woman left the room, Ichigo let out a breath. Why was he doing this? It had been ten years since his last major break up, yet no matter how hard he searched and longed he never found a true match. Sure he had tried, yet every attempt was met with a glaring failure. Ichigo felt himself slowly slide down to the base of the door and lean his head back against the wood getting lost in memories of the past.

**~X~**

"_You have gotta be joking." Ichigo whispered in horror to his friend._

_They were currently seated in the back room of Seretei, waiting for Ichigo's blind date. Ichigo was just about to find a way to high tail it out of the potential death trap when Ichigo's date had sauntered in. To say the man was intimidating was an understatement. The hulking giant stood out amongst the crowd like a sore thumb. His black hair was done up in spikes with what appeared to be bells adorned on the tips, a eye patch covered his right eye and scratch marks littered his body. He wore a fitted black tank top with forest green cargo pants and black combat boots. A pair of twin dog tags hung from his thick neck that was also covered in faded scars. He was built like a monster hung up on steroids, and like a monster on steroids, he scared Ichigo half to death. He glanced around the crowded room until he spotted the scared orangette and promptly gave one of the scariest pointed smiles that Ichigo had ever seen and began to push past the sea of bodies. As Ichigo got up to escape he felt a hand grip his shoulder and push him back towards his chair._

"_Now now Ichigo, I called good old Kenpachi here all the way from Fort Bragg, the least you could do is give him a little taste of your lovely charm." He grinned wolfishly._

"_Ren, there is no way I'm gonna sit here and get hit on by some roided up jarhead. I'm so outta here." Ichigo hissed_

_Renji let out another bark of laughter that shook Ichigo to his core and planted him firmly to the seat in pure unadulterated terror._

"_Oh no little Berry, I've got a full line up of guys just waiting to see ya tonight. Ah looks like Kenpachi made it through the sea of people! Well I'll just leave you love birds alone! Gotta go Ichigo! Later man!" Renji laughed and ran out of the bar._

_Ichigo was left spluttering like an idiot and calling Renji every dirty name in his book before he was snapped out of his trance as the massive giant called Kenpachi sat down in front of him, the wolfish grin still plastered on his face. He slowly lifted his hand and flicked absentmindedly at a bell on one of his spikes._

"_Do you enjoy games?" He growled_

**~X~**

Looking back at that memory left a sour taste in Ichigo's mouth. He had at least ten more guys later on that night and each one of them had failed to leave an impression on Ichigo. The only end result of that night was Ichigo presently getting stalked by the beast Kenpachi. Two more of Renji's speed dating over a period of five years had yielded the same result and after the third time Renji had promised that he wouldn't subject Ichigo to that anymore. The more he had tried to find another boyfriend the more he thought about his ex. The way he smiled, the way he growled in possessive anger when someone treated Ichigo badly, the way he would curl around Ichigo like a protective panther when he was sleeping. Ichigo shook himself and stared at the floorboards of his room, trying to fight back the now present tears threatening to fall.

'It's been 10 years and it seems that no matter what I do I still can't forget you Grimm' He thought sadly

Ichigo's thoughts were cut off when a brick flew through his window and rained pieces all over his floor.

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI!" Rukia's shrill voice screeched

Ichigo quickly finished getting changed and ran out of the door.

The woman was a menace to society that was for damn sure.

**~Half an hour later~**

'Well I'm here, now what?' Ichigo wondered

The building was small; its rustic Spanish style architecture seemed to clash horribly with the wooden tiki torches scattered about the premises. The angular swoops and plateaus of the structure looked pristine white like it was just painted. The entry way was adorned with a huge wooden arch where a metal sign hung in the middle announcing the name of the establishment. Past the arch stood two identical mahogany doors that were plastered with sign after sign. Ichigo looked past the signs to look at the numbers printed on the doors. The door to the right was labeled 1-9 while the one on the left was labeled 10-20. Ichigo wasn't expecting much from the small branch from the main on in Japan, honestly this was more than he expected. Rukia slipped him a piece of paper and pushed Renji into the car as they left without uttering a single word.

"Huh that's odd, usually they won't shut up-"

Ichigo was interrupted as a gunshot went off and the concrete next to him was marked black with the path of a bullet. Ichigo flinched and held himself still. His eyes roamed until they came to rest on a man with shoulder length brown hair and steel grey eyes. He wore a professional suit and a bored expression as he yawned and nudged towards a sign that Ichigo had ignored earlier.

_**To protect your identity we ask that you don't speak on the premises**_

_**All violators will be shot at**_

Ichigo felt the blood drain from his face as he realized what he had gotten himself into. Not only was Ichigo now out of his comfort zone and being forced to go to a stupid speed dating business, but the place was a total loony bin. Careful not to make another sound, Ichigo cautiously opened the paper that Rukia gave him and looked down at the object. The number 15 was scrawled in box numbers. Well it seemed that he knew what door he was going to now. Ichigo gave another weary sigh and jumped from another bullet as it was shot his way before he rushed inside.

As soon as Ichigo stepped through the door labeled 10-20, he was immediately tackled to the floor and blind folded by unseen hands. Careful not to make a sound and get shot at, Ichigo went against his better instincts and let the urgent hands pull him down a series of what seemed like endless hallways before they abruptly stopped and took the blindfold off. Ichigo peered into the darkness and adjusted his eyes to the now dim lighting. As his eyes adjusted he saw a giant room with vaulted ceilings that was illuminated by hanging candelabras. He glanced around the room and saw that people were already enclosed in small cubicles that were covered with paper that only showed the shadow of the person. Before Ichigo could adequately assess the other people in the establishment, the assistant that lead him through the halls pushed him non-too-gently into the cubicle labeled with a giant 15 and shut the screen behind him before he could protest. Ichigo placed a hand on the screen and sighed softly. He wanted to go home and get as far away from this place as possible yet with the pressure that was placed upon him that idea seemed like it was bordering on the impossible. He slowly turned around and looked at the small desktop that glowed in the low lighting. It was placed on a small wooden desk with a pencil and pad of paper. Ichigo sat down on the small rolling chair and slowly pulled up to the blanked screened computer, wondering what to do next. Just as Ichigo started to get impatient, a voice of what he assumed to be his assistant whispered.

"You have to actually turn the computer on to get anywhere."

Feeling the blush of embarrassment color his cheeks, Ichigo booted up the computer and gazed nervously at the screen. As the display came up he immediately felt uncomfortable. The screen in front of him showed a simple chat room layout and the comments scrolling up were nothing but nasty and lust filled. What the heck was this place? Did he seriously have to sink this low? Why couldn't he just find someone the normal way like everyone else? Just as he was about to log out and sit there until his pushy assistant came to retrieve him a loud chirp sounded from the computers speakers. Ichigo saw a small chat window pop up in the bottom right corner of the screen.

_**6: You know in order to meet someone you have to actually talk to someone**_

Ichigo growled at the pop up and looked around, expecting to see someone watching him. When he couldn't find anyone another pop sounded from the chat box.

_**6: No I can't see you, so stop looking around. I know you are, I can hear your chair squeaking from down the row. **_

Ichigo felt the slow burn of an embarrassed blush creep up on his face again and he hastily set to the keys.

_**15: What the hell do you want?**_

_**6: Ouch, what a temper. I can feel your scowl practically burning me from the other side of my screen.**_

Ichigo felt his indignation rise and he growled as he typed back a reply.

_**15: So what if I am?**_

_**6: That tells me that you didn't come here of your own accord. If ya did then you would be off flirting like the rest of those shameless bigots in the main chat room.**_

_**15: . . . Fine I'll bite.**_

_**6: I didn't come here of my own will either**_

_**15: Oh? Then why the hell did you come here? I'm not gonna delusion myself into thinking that you came here just to mess with me -_-"**_

_**6: Hahaha, look who has a sense of humor! If you really must know I'm here because my friends want me to get over an ex who thoroughly broke my heart…**_

Ichigo felt the air rush out of his lungs. Oh damn, that's harsh.

_**15: I'm sorry…. I didn't realize…**_

_**6: S'not your fault. Why are you here anyways?**_

_**15: Same reason as you.**_

_**6: Friends can suck sometimes huh?**_  
Ichigo felt a bark of laughter bubble up from his chest. This guy was too funny!  
After an hour that flew by like 10 minutes, Ichigo found himself thoroughly enthralled in this #6. Suddenly the computer in front of Ichigo shut off leaving Ichigo in the dim lighting of the room. A crackling sound erupted from the speakers in the corners of the room.  
"Thank you everyone for participating in Hueco Mundo's dating program! Now the numbers 1-9 may go and greet the person who they feel they have made a connection with!"  
Ichigo sat in his chair and looked anxiously at the door, waiting to meet #6. Slowly, the sliding screen door opened. Ichigo glanced up at the face of #6 and froze in acute horror.  
"G-Grimm?"

~**End Chapter 4**~

Reviews are better than falling in love with a stranger only to find out that it's your ex :D

Well that took a long time! This chapter is officially the longest chapter I have ever written!  
I admit, I did go through a bit of writers block, but it seems I may have gotten over that!  
What's amazing is that I wrote the last half in the doctor's office! :D  
Dedication. That's what that is folks.  
So tell me guys, what did y'all think?  
See you guys in Chapter 5!


	5. Chapter 5: Faceless

_**Wow, we are finally at Chapter 5! I honestly didn't think I was ever going to finish Chapter 4. . .**_

_**The opening to this chapter is a one shot that I wrote in my journal before work one day. **_

_**Is that cheating?**_

_**Well we have even more readers now! More pack members!**_

_**Does that make us wolves?**_

…_**..**_

_**I dedicate this chapter to Kitten because . . . . . well because she is Kitten and I do that kinda stuff for Kitten :D**_

_**Enjoy lovely!**_

_***To all my readers, read my updated fanfiction profile for chapter update info***_

_**Now without further interruption, here is Chapter 5**_

_**Bleach still doesn't belong to me by the way.**_

**Chapter 5: Faceless**

"_You broke my heart_

_You promised me the moon and the stars_

_I fell for your dreams; I fell for your lies_

_There was no other way, you know I tried. . ."_

_The End by Silverstein_

**X**

_Grimmjow awoke with a jolt, his whole body springing up and alerting his senses. It happened again, that same God damned nightmare that had been haunting him for years. He felt himself pinch the bridge of his nose and hung his head to hide his present tears. Just picturing his mom hovering over him, her fist clenched and a sneer plastered on her face as she beat her son to bloody recognition sent a wave of nausea rolling through his stomach. He could still feel every punch she gave him, the tracks of blood as they ran down his bare flesh and the burn as she grabbed the giant butcher knife off of the knife block and cut his torso from hip to shoulder diagonally. Grimmjow clutched at the still present scar and felt moisture drip down his cheeks without his permission._

"_Grimm?" A groggy baritone sounded from his left._

_Grimmjow's eyes widened and he struggled to run out of the room before his lover saw his tears. Just as he was about to jump for the door, a pair of arms grabbed him forcefully and slammed him back on the bed._

"_Grimm what's wrong?! What happened?!" The voice growled_

_Grimmjow refused to look at his lover, refused to show him how weak he truly was. A hand grabbed Grimmjow's chin and tried to jerk his face to the remaining light. There was a struggle before Grimmjow was sufficiently pinned down and staring at the man he has come to love for the last 5 years. Grimmjow took in the man's sepia toned eyes as they worriedly raked over Grimmjow's prone form. He admired the tan biceps that held him down with surprising force, the frown that graced the angular planes of his face and the shocking orange locks that were tousled from sleep. He watched as those intelligent eyes locked onto the moisture running down his cheeks and flinched at the sadness he saw in those eyes. Ichigo's grip automatically slackened and Grimmjow took that opportunity to swing around so he sat perched on the edge of the bed. His head fell into his hands and Grimmjow couldn't stop the wave of shame that swept through his body at his discovered weakness. Grimmjow stiffened as he felt a tentative hand run circles between his shoulder blades and another hand come up to cup his left cheek._

"_It was that nightmare again wasn't it?" He heard Ichigo whisper_

_All Grimmjow could do was nod as a fresh stream of tears rushed down his cheeks. He felt the hand on his cheek guide his face towards Ichigo's until their foreheads came to rest together. The simple display of love had Grimmjow's tears drying up in an attempt to gather his composure. He felt the warmth of Ichigo's breath fan his face as the smaller man huffed out a sigh._

"_C'mere Grimm, let's go to sleep 'k?" He whispered_

_Grimmjow nodded and allowed Ichigo to cradle him as they fell on the bed._

"_Don't worry Grimm, I will never hurt you."_

_**~X~**_

But in the end, all Ichigo did was hurt him.

Even now as Grimmjow stared at the man in the dimly lit cubicle, all he felt was pain. The pains of watching this man get close to his heart and wreck everything inside with his poor choices. The pain of watching all his hopes that this man contained shatter like brittle glass. His brown eyes, now older and swirling with untapped knowledge beneath their depths pulled Grimmjow's heartstrings and slammed the breath out of his lungs. His orange hair was longer now, yet still sang a siren song and beckoned to be combed through with Grimmjow's fingertips. His arms were still corded with sleek muscles and sun kissed skin that hid behind the black button up that was draped over his broad and defined chest still send chills running up Grimmjow's spine. His long legs seemed to stretch for miles and call him back to the days where those same legs were draped over Grimmjow's lap as they both used to lounge on the couch. Grimmjow felt betrayed, apprehensive, confused but most of all he felt relieved.

"G-Grimm?"

The sound of his soft tenor sent quivers of pleasure shaking throughout his entire body. Having his name spoken through those lips was a drug that slowly spread through his system like the poison it was. He could feel the changes spread throughout his mind as he came to look upon the man whom he had loved with every fiber of his being. Looking into those wide brown eyes sent as wave of ease rushing like a tidal wave inside of Grimmjow's mind. The boys presence alone had the loneliness from ten years alone melting and he slowly felt himself gaze at the full pouty lips on Ichigo's soft face-

Stop.

He wasn't going to put himself through this again, not over this man who was little less that an overgrown child.

Grimmjow felt his legs propel him past the surrounding cubicles and down the narrow hallways until he came upon some sort of door which he hoped lead to the parking lot where Pantera was parked. He slammed the door open with the back of his arm and sent the sheet of metal crashing into the adjacent wall with enough force to shake the concrete walls. Grimmjow took in his surroundings and found himself in the alleyway beside the establishment which lead straight to the parking garage. Just as he was about to bolt onto his getaway vehicle a voice stopped him in his tracks

"Grimmjow stop!"

Crap.

He had followed him.

Grimmjow spared a glance back towards the sound of the man's voice and saw him hunched over breathing ragged from trying to keep up with his speedy pace. Once again the strings of his heart yanked violently and knocked the air from his own lungs just from the mere sight of Ichigo. He had to get out of here. Grimmjow turned towards the exit of the alley and was once again halted by Ichigo's voice.

"So you're just going to leave? Is that it Grimmjow?"

Indignation rose up within Grimmjow and he found his lip curl up in agitation.

"I never would have taken you for a coward." Ichigo sneered

"You better watch your mouth Kurosaki, who the hell are you to call me a coward?" He hissed through his pursed lips, fists trembling like he might punch the wall at any second.

"Excuse me?"

Grimmjow whirled around and locked his burning gaze on Ichigo's still form and watched as fear slipped through his system. He strode towards Ichigo and grabbed the front of his button up shirt, relishing in the anger that flooded through his system.

"Who the hell are you to call me a coward when you gave up?! You drank away your sorrows and tossed me to the side like a God Dammed used chew toy! If you honestly expected me to stay there while you self destructed then you're crazy and delusional." He growled

Ichigo's face twisted in a scowl and his hand came up to grip the appendage locked on the front of his shirt.

"That was ten years ago. You told me that I needed to change and I have! What you think I would stay the same? Stay a drunkard after the only man I loved abandoned me on the floor of my garage?!"

"Don't you dare pin this on me! This all started with you! Don't you dare pin our situation on me!" Grimmjow roared, his hand now visibly shaking.

Sparks of anger danced in Ichigo's brown eyes and his body tensed as he growled.

"It's as much your fault as it is mine! You asked me to change so I did! Now what?! Where am I supposed to go when I still feel the way I do 10 years ago! You gave me hope then crushed it before I could show you I changed! It's time to man up Grimm and face the fact that this is your fault too!" Ichigo all but screamed.

"Well you know what Ichi?! I can't turn back time contrary to popular belief! Why do you even care anymore?! What's the point of-"

"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU GRIMMJOW!" Ichigo screamed

Silence.

Grimmjow stood there, eyes widened and body frozen in ice. He no longer held Ichigo in the tight grip; rather Ichigo clutched at his hand like it was a lifeline. Ichigo's brown eyes were downcast and dripping tears before he hesitantly lifted them to lock on with Grimmjow's blue depths. The sadness there was palpable and filled Grimmjow to the brim with shame.

After all this time, Ichigo still found it in his heart to love him. Even after he left him abandoned on the floor of their old garage he still held him close to his heart. He felt Ichigo sag against the brick wall behind him and let loose a shaky breath.

"I never stopped. Even now all I think about is you. I miss you Grimm. I miss you so bad it hurts."

Grimmjow felt his hand reach out and cup Ichigo's cheek, tilting his face so that he could see the face that had been haunting him for 10 straight years. He had grown from being 18 and reckless to 28 and mature loving this man the entire time. Even now when a voice inside his head was screaming at him not to trust this man and to leave, he couldn't help but feel the love he hid for so long bubbling to the surface.

"What happened to us Grimm?" Ichigo murmured, his eyes slowly crawling back to Grimmjow's gaze again.

Grimmjow's head shook as his mind raced. What _**had**_ happened to them?

"I-I don't know Ichi. You hurt me. You hurt me so bad that time. I don't wanna get hurt again." He found himself saying.

He watched in slow motion as Ichigo stood up from his spot on against the wall and pressed himself against Grimmjow, his hands wrapping around his neck. Grimmjow's eyes widened as he stared down at the bold man in front of him and saw need dancing in those brown irises.

"I will never hurt you again Grimm, trust me. Let me in. Let me heal you and show you how everything's going to be ok."

Grimmjow's mind was spinning. Wasn't he supposed to be mad at Ichigo? He had done something. He had hurt him. Why was he trying to get back in? Didn't he know his heart was frozen in ice? Ever since he left, did he know how frozen Grimmjow's heart was now? Did he still want him though he was damaged? He didn't know. He didn't want to be hurt again. He was alone. He was afraid. He was vulnerable. He needed help.

"Grimm, its ok, let me in"

Suddenly the walls crumbled down as lips met in a single spark. Arms wound around Grimmjow's neck and pulled him closer to the man in front of him as his own arms wound around the waist he knew from so long ago. Soft lips brushed each other repeatedly and with each brush of contact drew more and more passion until it felt as though the two bodies in the alleyway were going supernova. A tongue was flicked out against the entrance to another's mouth and was promptly pulled into that same cavern. Grimmjow's breathing was growing ragged as the ice slowly melted off his heart from each hint at contact from the other man. The arms circling the other's hips pulled tighter until it seemed like there was no room for even an oxygen atom between them. This is what Grimmjow needed. The feeling of the man he loved in his embrace as his slowly memorized how the man tasted to savor for later. He loved Ichigo. He loved him so much. The two bodies backed up until they collided with the alley itself as the kiss grew in intensity. The moment was so pristine, Grimmjow felt like he would-

"There you are babe!" A gruff baritone sounded from the edge of the ally.

It felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over the embracing couple and the flame of passion was thoroughly put out. Grimmjow sent a look that could melt the North Pole at the intruder and saw a huge man with black spiky hair that was adorned with what looked like bells. He stood a good 2 feet taller than Grimmjow and was dressed in what looked like marine casual attire. Grimmjow expected the man to be addressing someone else around them but followed his gaze to the now trembling orangette still wrapped in Grimmjow's embrace.

"I've been looking for ya everywhere lover! Did you forget we were supposed to have a date today?" The large man smirked.

Grimmjow felt his heart once again incase itself in ice as he pushed away from the smaller man he had kissed a few minutes ago.

"Kenpachi?! What the hell are you doing here?!" Ichigo spluttered, his entire face turning red with embarrassment and anger.

"I just told ya silly berry, we were supposed to have a date after you came to make fun of all the losers here! Speaking of losers," Kenpachi's eyes traveled to lock on Grimmjow as he sent him a questioning look, "What where ya doin here with my boyfriend blue boy?"He asked with an undertone of menace.

Grimmjow shoved his hands in his pockets and began to amble off towards the exit to the alleyway, thoroughly pissed and hurting inside.

"Nothing, I was just about to leave as a matter of fact."

"That you were." Kenpachi hummed with satisfaction.

Just as Grimmjow met the opening of the alley he heard Ichigo's voice call out from behind him.

"Grimm! Wait! It's not what you think! Kenpachi is just-"

"Would you shut up? I don't give a damn anymore!" He roared, his composure totally spent.

He whirled around and fixed a burning gaze on the seemingly distressed man like he was the plague.

"I should have never let you in. Just stay the hell away from me." He growled as he turned and made his way towards his bike, trying to pick up his heart on the way there. Grimmjow grabbed the helmet off of his bike and made the engine roar to life before peeling out of the parking lot and into the awaiting night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grimmjow grappled with his anger as he bounded up the stairs to his shared apartment and threw open the door. His eyes wandered through the small two bedroom apartment before his eyes locked on the lanky man setting out plates on the kitchen table. Grimmjow stormed toward his best friend as the man looked towards him with his one good eye.

"Hey there Grimm! I made some spaghetti for-"

Nnoitora was cut off as Grimmjow's right fist met his jaw and sent him spinning to the opposite wall. Grimmjow slowly approached his now staggering best friend and saw Nelliel come into the room out of his peripherals. Grimmjow straddled Nnoitora's waist and began to smash his face repeatedly with the knuckles of his right fist until blood began to flow freely from his abused nose and mouth. He heard Nelliel scream and felt her struggle to pull Grimmjow away from her now mutilated boyfriend.

"Grimmjow stop!" She screamed as she finally managed to pull him off of Nnoitora. Nnoitora looked up at Grimmjow, anger shining through the layers of blood and coloring skin.

"Grimm what the hell man?! What did I-"

"You asshole! You knew he would be there! You set this whole God Damned thing up! I should have known!" He roared down at the crumpled man beneath him.

He watched as Nelliel raced towards her boyfriend and got down beside her boyfriend to prop him up by her shoulders.

"Grimm, what the hell are you talking about man?" Nnoitora asked thickly

"You know Ichigo would be there! That's why you sent me to that God forsaken place! I should have known!" He growled as his hands clawed at his blue locks and promptly began to tug them out of their follicles.

Nnoitora's eyes widened with shock and instantly the anger melted from his system.

"Oh God Grimm, I didn't think he would be-"

"What the hell ever Nnoi, I'm getting the hell outta here." He growled as he stormed towards his door.

"Where are you going to go?!" Nnoitora crowed from behind him, still propped up on his girlfriends shoulder on the floor.

Grimmjow didn't even spare him another glance as he shouted out towards his now former best friend.

"Anywhere but here!"

Grimmjow slammed the door behind him and took satisfaction in it shaking the entire apartment. Grimmjow made his way to the closet to start packing his things when his anger broke again. He screamed out in frustration and sent his fist flying through the drywall repeatedly until the section of wall was thoroughly missing and a gaping hole stood in its place. He hurriedly packed his things and grabbed his wallet on the way out. As he past the living room on his way out, bag strapped tightly around his shoulder, he threw a few twenties at his friend who was nursing an icepack on his split lip.

"For the wall in my room." Grimmjow muttered gruffly before storming his way out into the humid night and far away from California as possible.

**~End of Chapter 5~**

_**Reviews are better than punching your best friend until he bleeds all over your newly installed carpet :D**_

_**I loved writing that chapter! It was so much fun!**_

_**Unfortunately that will be the last installment for a while, I have to send my laptop into HP to get it fixed **_

_**Hopefully I will get it back before school starts so I can attempt to try to finish this story.**_

_**I'm feeling a little bit depressed lately, like severely depressed. It's a known fact to me that when I am depressed my writing gets really creative.**_

_**At least that's one good thing to come outta it right?**_

_**Hehehehe.**_

_**So tell me guys, what did y'all think?**_

_**See you guys in Chapter 6!**_


	6. Chapter 6: One Step Forward

_**Hello there my faithful readers, sorry I haven't gotten back to you in a while, I have been really swamped lately with college nonsense along with extremely high amounts of stress due to a plethora of things. I have not forgotten about my stories though and am trying my best to stay motivated enough to keep it going.**_

_**I have also gotten into some new anime such as Sword Art Online and Attack on Titan… Especially Attack On Titan since I am currently listening to the sound track while writing this. Just be patient with me and my writing, I'd like to thank each of you for not pressuring me by writing you this chapter.**_

_**So without further nonsense chit chat, here we go.**_

**Chapter 6: One Step Forward**

"_I'm tired of running and wrestling with these angels_

_I lay down my life and I surrender. . ."_

_-Without You by Ashes Remain_

How was it that he had messed things up so badly?

The day had started off bad with his friends dragging him to that stupid blind dating hell hole, and then things had to take a turn for the worst when he was confronted not only with his nosey stalker but also with the love of his life that ultimately broke his heart.

Grimmjow…

He hadn't even let Ichigo take a breath before throwing out accusations. One moment he was all over him and the very next second he was glaring at him like he was the anti-Christ. It had hurt. . . .Ichigo didn't think Grimmjow was capable of being so cold hearted. He had honestly believed that he would be able to reconcile his differences with the man who he loved so much. But if what happened back there was any indication, there was no way that he would ever be able to feel the love of his past boyfriend.

There was no longer any trust; he was sick and tired of sticking his neck out to be hacked at.

Ichigo stood next to the lamppost on the darkening street, tapping his foot impatiently at his thoroughly late friends. It was one thing to be 15 minutes late, but a full hour was really pushing it. As soon as Ichigo had started off in the direction of the nearest bus stop, he heard the growl of his friends unmistakable Mustang. Sucking in a deep calming breath, Ichigo stepped toward the back seat as the door swung open, inviting him inside.

"Hey there Ich! How did it go?!" Renji laughed boisterously from the driver's seat.

"Just shut the hell up and drive." He heard himself growl

Almost instantly the atmosphere in the car dropped a few degrees.

"Uh. . . .Is everything ok there buddy? You seem kind of-"

"Did I say you could talk?!" Ichigo yelled as he punched the door next to him.

At the drop of a hat the car stopped and sent Ichigo grabbing at the handle on the roof to keep himself from flying through the windshield.

"Renji what the hell are you-"

"Get out." Renji hissed

Ichigo stared dumbfound at the red head next to him, his anger soon forgotten for what seemed like fear.

"W-what did you just say?" Ichigo asked quietly

"I said get out. Are you deaf? If you honestly harbor enough anger to take it out on my car after I tried to do you a favor then I want nothing to do with you or however the hell you get home. So I will repeat myself only once. Get. Out." Renji growled.

Not needing to be told a second time, Ichigo jumped out of Renji's car and watched in growing horror as his friend revved off into the night, leaving him shivering near PCH like a fool. After staring at the asphalt dejectedly for a few minutes, Ichigo followed the highway in search of a way to get home. Wandering aimlessly, Ichigo suddenly had a flash of recollection at the street sign ahead of him.

"Beach boulevard. . . .wait. . . .doesnt Gimmjow's friend Nnoitora live there?"

Feeling hesitant on whether or not he should even step foot near the property, Ichigo sat down on the curb to the nearest fast food joint and covered his face with his hands. How could something so beautiful have ended so badly…

**~X~**

_They day they met was like a hit and run… literally._

_It was the first day of Ichigo's Jr year of high school as well as his first time driving to practice for his driving test. _

"_Good work my son! Don't be scared! Channel your inner greatness that comes with being the product of my loin-"_

_With lightning fast reflexes, Ichigo smacked his hand across his father's face and mustered the meanest glare that he could muster._

"_Would you shut up goat face?! I might hit some one-" Ichigo began._

_But the thump of a human body accompanied with the strong of curses from the stranger currently smeared across Ichigo's window put an end to anything that Ichigo was about to say. Letting out a pained shriek of horror, Ichigo quickly unbuckled his seat belt and rushed out of his seat to attend to the victim of his accident. _

"_Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Are you ok-"_

_What had dried up Ichigo's mouth and sent his heart beating like a bass drum was the angel that he had seemingly hit with the front of his car._

_Ichigo couldn't help but stare in shock as his eyes roamed across the chiseled figure laying on the apshault, the precariously perched electric blue locks seemed tousled in controlled chaos, a broad chest barely concealed by a tight shirt and long muscular legs swathed in tight black jeans. As attractive as this stranger was, what made the world drop beneath Ichigo was his eyes. The translucent blue color reminded Ichigo of a far away sea and sent a cool chill running down his spine as a warm tingling sensation filled Ichigo's cheeks._

"_You gonna stare at me like a moron or are ya gonna help me up tangerine?"_

_The voice that sounded from that chorded throat was the voice of angels. That smooth baritone sent shivers down Ichigo's spine with just that one-_

_Wait a second…_

_Wait one God dammed second…._

_Did he just?_

_A sneer plaster itself on Ichigo's face as he slapped his out stretched hand out of his general direction._

"_Sod off jackass." Ichigo growled, marching to his car and throwing himself into the driver's seat with malice._

"_You better get out of my way before you become a meat pancake." Ichigo shouted at him as he threw the car in gear and watched in grim satisfaction as he bolted out of the way from the ground. _

_Not sparing the man another glance, the now livid teen rocketed off towards his school at speeds over 60._

"_Ichigo! What the hell is the matter with you?!" Isshin yelled from his position latched onto the safety handle on the roof of the car._

"_No one calls me a tangerine…." Ichigo grumbled under his breath_

_The silence in the car was deafening until the rough sound of Isshin's barking laughter sent Ichigo jumping in his seat._

"_That's what that was all about? Oh son-"_

"_Shut up goat face!" Ichigo screeched, his face bright red from embarrassment and mortification._

"_Oh son, it's ok. You'll never have to see that kid again."_

_Oh how wrong he was…._

**~X~**

The door to Nnoitra's apartment loomed infront of Ichigo like the ninth ring of hell. He knew there was a 50/50 shot that Grimmjow was in there, and that scared him. Could he risk seeing the man that had just recently flew off the handle at him? Just as he was about to knock on the door, the door flew open to reveal a disheveled, and frankly, pissed off Nnoitra. At the sight of Ichigo, his one good eye grew wide as he hissed "You" under his breath. Within a few seconds Ichigo was pinned against the wall by his throat by the lanky man and struggling for breath.

"W-what-"

"THIS IS ALL YOU'RE FAULT!" Nnoitra roared, sending his unoccupied fist straight into Ichigo's face.

All Ichigo could do was hang there helplessly as Nnoitra went about smashing his face in with his knuckle. Just when Ichigo thought he would be pummeled to death, his tall punisher was sent to his knees by a swift kick to the back of the knees.

"Nnoi, hurting Ichigo won't bring Grimm back." A high voice stated from the doorway.

Ichigo felt his eyes wander until they rested on a busty woman with sea foam green hair. Though she looked very sweet in the face, her eyes were red and puffy that sent a shiver through Ichigo with the depths of sadness that they echoed.

"Nel, Grimm left because of him. He could be starving or hurt or God knows what else because this little twerp decided to-"

"G-Grimm is gone?"

Ichigo didn't realize that he had spoken until the arguing couple looked at him directly.

"P-Please… I need to f-find him… I need to tell h-him that h-he was wrong… That I…. T-that I still love h-him." Ichigo rasped, new tears falling from his eyes as the longing to see his former lover settled like a weight over his heart.

Nel and Nnoitra both looked at eachother, Nel pleading with her eyes until Nnoitra let out a weary sigh.

"You can stay here with us for tonight. Ill get your face all fixed up and you can leave in the morning." He muttered

Ichigo gazed up at Grimmjow's friend and let a small smile grace his face as he nodded.

"Come on inside, Grimm can be found later on tomorrow. He can manage his own till then." Nel smiled.

Yet little did they know, Grimmjow was not doing fine. And as flesh crashed and blood flew from new wounds on the opposite side of the world, nothing would be the same for these lovers ever again.

**~End of Chapter 6~**

_**Reviews are better than having your ex-boyfriends former best friend rearrange your face :D**_

_**Sorry for the long wait you guys, I've been dealing with some major depression stemming from the lack of friends and being cooped up for days on end. Hopefully seeing all your bright and shining reviews motivates me to write some more ^^**_

_**Im really getting obsessed with Attack on Titan… Don't be surprised if you find an Eren/Levi fan fic up in the near future.**_

_**College will be starting up for me soon so until then I will try to write as much as possible.**_

_**Thank you all for your willingness to wait!**_

_**See you all in Chapter 7~**_


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